Running because I can!

I ran my four miles in 46:00. I walked some of it.

I did some ab work. Then I rode the bike for 25 minutes. 

Other than my legs feeling tired I feel pretty good.

I think if I could get a good nightds sleep I would be twice as good.

We had three older boys in our home last year for about 9 months. Matt and I got to know there parents pretty well. I decided that there dad was a decent guy and he really loved his boy's. He did everything he could to get them back and living with him. I watched and helped bring these boy's and there dad come together. Well last night he was killed in an acident at work, he was crushed my his front end loader.  So those boy's have nothing.

Anyways I have this horriable head cold and I cried a good part of last night and I can't seem to shut the tears off even today. 

I am not sure how running and being sick works.  I know I could channel my anger and hurt of this death into running a good run but I am not sure if it is bad on the cold.  

I never did find a good time to go run yesterday. My baby is sick and I ended up having to take him in and get breathing treatments.  It is just one thing right after another.

So today I swore no matter what I would get out and run. I went to a babtizm. And because Tallon was sick and coughing all night I hardly slept. The doctor says it usually hits the hardest around 2:00am so I stayed up with him until then to make sure he could breath.

When I got home from the babtize I wanted to go take a nap but I told my husband if I didn't run now I wouldn't so I told him to drive me and my dog up the Alpine highway and leave me there so I had no choice. I told him 5 miles but the next place to pull off was way farther up and he was not liking me running out side because he still has that horriable death on his mind.

It was good. I was able to breath alot better than I thought I would seeing as I have a horriable cold. I did feel good when My poor dog kept wanting to lay down. I told Matt it is pretty sad that I am in better shape than my lab.

I finished in exactly 60 minutes. I think I would have done alot better if it were not for my dog. I even ended up giving my water to her instead of myself me cause she was foaming at the mouth.  (that required me to stop and open her mouth and pore the water in that way.)

I also thought I needed to clear my mind so I ran with out music today and it was very good for me.     

I had my husband move my treadmill into our tv room so I walked/ ran while I watched tv with the family. Mostly walked so I could pay attention to the kids as well.

I let my husband go to church and I stayed home with the sick baby. He always is the one to miss out.

I had to get up early to have my Yukon in to get my window fixed. ( I had an early morning drop off time)

Right after that I had to go to the hospital and get a bunch of blood work done. I had to go in fasting so I could not eat or drink anything after 7:00pm the night before. I thought about running before I had to drop the truck off but decided I would need water.

I got there and they took 10 vials of blood then made me drink the orange nasty drink. After that I had my blood drawn every half hour for the next two hours.

So needless to say I got home at 2:45 in the afternoon. I was ready to pass out or something. I ate a couple of taco's and I was still shaking so bad that I finally ate a small candy bar out of the kids halloween candy and ten I crashed.  I slept for a few hours and woke up in time to fix dinner and then run out to get a dress for the funeral. ( I own alot of colorful church clothes)

I did about as much walking as I could do looking for a black dress.   

I woke up today with every intention of running before the funeral.

My husband and I are going to Florida this weekend for 5 days. (Just for fun) and one of my baby sitters called me and said she could not baby sit so we spent every minute up until we had to get ready finding some one else. (Our plane tickets are paid for)

The funneral was from 12-2 then we went to the grave side service,  after that we went to talk to some people about the boys we had because there are custody problems.

After such a sad very tearful day I just wanted to hold my kids and tell them how much I love them.

This man was so young and if he had any clue that that day was going to be his last he would have hugged all his kids and told them how much he loved them. He would have spent every last minute of his life with them.  I think sometimes we take our time here on earth for granted.

My thougths today are live life like there is no tomorrow. Work hard, love everyone around you, smile and say hi,  No matter how mad you are at your kids or loved ones tell them you love them and hug them every chance you get.

If you are headed down the wrong road fix it. Don't wait another day fix it now.      

So we took the kids out to dinner and just enjoyed each other.

I am emotionally drained. I don't think I have any more tears in my body and I would probley calapse if I ran right now.

I will come back strong tomorrow.

My husband and I just got back from Orlando FL. I do have to say I was very disappointed. This is the first vacation we have had in 6 years without the kids. I learned I have no idea who I am without the kids around all the time. Breaks are good but not for 5 nights. It is not pretty down there either. Most of what we planned to do kinda ended in a flop. We did go on an air boat ride that was pretty cool. The funnest we had was playing minature golf. We got an all day pass and played probley 6 or 7 rounds then we played basket ball until my wrist I just had surgery on no longer could take it.

I feel very blessed to live here. I think Utah is one of the most beautiful states there is.  I think we would have found more to do and for alot less money just staying somewhere closer.

I thought it would be fun to go running while we were gone but we wanted to see so much that I never had time. There was really no where to run not unless I drove somewhere and Matt would have never agreed to that. There was no resting thats for sure. Except our 2 days of flying. Sitting there for that long was a killer.

Now I just need to get unpacked and get back in gear so I can get back to training.        

Got up and met my sister at her work and we walked the track. She said three times around was 4 miles it did not seem that far but it may have been because we talked the whole time. we went around it 4 times. We ran maybe 200 feet at the most. She is just starting out so i stayed at her pace.   

I have no idea what happened to me the last few weeks.  I have said once I fall off getting going again is so hard.  I can't seem to shake the same cold I have had for over a month now and I think I ran out of rope the last week but I am ready to get going again.

I ran my first mile in 11:30 I was suprised that I could still runn after being so bad the last little bit.  I walked and ran the next 1.25. I am not sure where I should pick back up so I thought 30 minutes was good.  If I was at the gym I would have taken my 1.5 hrs but at home it is to hard to stay on the treadmill much longer because I have to many things to do.

I can say my last pattern of running and working out I did not see alot of physical results and I think that discoraged me alot. I thought after 6 weeks of really working out I would have seen a big diffrence in my body.  

After not working out for a couple of weeks I see huge negative effect in my moods. i am unbearable alot of the time.    

I told my self all day yesterday I was going to get on my treadmill and I never did.  i have had the most air headed days of my life the last two days.

Tuesday I thought I would try washing down my fish oil with diet rootbeer. I have to plug my nose to drink it, keep my nose plugged while I rinse it down with something. And I still gag.

So Ya plugging your nose and trying to drink soda not a good idea. I think I choked it all including the fish oil back into my mouth. and then I had fish/rootbeer burps for like an hour.

Yesterday I was on the phone getting some technical suport for my computer (lap top) And the customer service guy was telling me to go type things in and close out windows. So I ran down stairs three time telling him to hang on while I performed these actions before I relized I could just bring my laptop up to the phone with me. The suport guy did not find it funny at all. (I told him I was an idiot and had my lap top next to me now I could imagin him rolling his eyes at me) My cordless was dead.

I down loaded pinks new video from Itunes and it would not play in windows player for me and it would not play from the dvd I burned it to on my tv. I was getting so frusterated trying to figure it out and with the kids that i accidently deleated a couple of my playlists that I had worked a couple of hours putting together. (I have about 10,000 song on my computer) All legal and paid for over the years.  

this dose not include the daily dumb things I do anyways or all the drama with all these kids. My boy I am addopting's paper work has been lost for the second time. They tell me this after 3 months of asking why our prints have not gone through.  My baby's mom has lost her mind as well as her grandparents and she is now in jail and somehow I am supose to be sad about that. And my girl is the biggest brat on the face of the earth right now. O the fits she can throw.

So now that I have vented. I ran my first mile in 10:30 and then I walked .50. I stopped at 20 minutes. I am hoping to go to the gym later or get back on the treadmill when the baby go's down for a nap or bed.

The baby has finally made an attatchment to me which is awsome. We were worried he would not so I can't leave the room with out him crying and he wants me all the time. The negative part of that is i have less time now. Before he was fine by him self or with anyone who wanted him. As far as making sure he dose not aquire a detatchment disorder I give into his every demand when it comes to me.  They say if a baby can't attatch by 6 mths of age they might never.    ( I beleive under the ideal situations they can)

So by the time my husband got home I was strung so tight I think he was scared of me.(I did get the best back rub he has ever given me tho) 

 I got back on the treadmill when The baby took his nap. I went 2.50 more miles ran my first mile and then kind of just walked the rest. I went for 44:00 minutes. It feels good to be going again but I am tired a little sore. How sad is that I could go 4 miles all at once running and not feel it at all the next day, now look where I am.